Things Change

It is quite funny how much things in the past few weeks in Sydney have changed me… or starting to change me… I am actually starting to feel excited about stopping my party and risky ways and cleaning my act up. I refused free drinks last night, my excuse being i have a medical test on Monday but deep down I know it was because I want to change. I finally understand what my parents meant when they said “C. you need to have Internal discipline”. I have actually even thought about going to church on Sundays and staying away from boys. For once in a long time i feel GREAT with my decisions! It’s been two weeks that I have been thinking about going to church so its not just a spare the moment decision. I need to reconnect with what my parents taught me as a kid. It is funny a year or two ago I would not have seen me even thinking about Church! I don’t know what inside me has finally woken up and made me want to grow up and want to have a better life and lifestyle.

i think I partly know what it is… If you seek, you shall find… If you wait, it will find you. For too long I have been trying to find things that make me happy to keep me happy but then I realized most of the happiness I have ever had was from it finding me and not me trying to find it… Coincidences, People etc. that have had a good impact on me were found when I wasn’t seeking. Going to bars and hoping your prince… buying a lotto ticket actually thinking you will win… changing yourself just to look more appealing… etc… have become a No No to me… I am living life for me… im not going to put on a sexy dress to attract someones attention anymore… I am not going to waste my time with people who sometimes make me feel good or sexy or whatever when I can hang out with people who make me happy and whom i make happy as well in each others presence… I will continue with not seeking internal happiness because like always, it always seeks me because my eyes are wide open and WAITING for it.

As I start my new life in Sydney I get to start again and be whom I really want to be.  

Here is to the NEW me. Cheers.

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