a lil sad… last post on the boy

so i finally talked to the guy…and it was actually good him being honest with me… and i agreed with him…he has been in an 8 year relationship and I knew that but he had enough respect to respond to me and help me face the music… I am glad that we can be friends because he is a really good person and tomorrow we will be hanging with his brother…

it’s amazing how someone’s honesty can make you have so much respect for them even if it is not what you want to hear…

Going back to where this post came from… I got home and since i have an eye infection or something messing with my eye I decided to close my eyes for an hour or two… or in your terms, a nap…

I got up nearly two hours later and i felt so depressed… I wasn’t sure if it was because of the boy or because I hadn’t been able to finish a project that needs to be submited tomorrow… I never feel this way… at least not lately… then an idea came into my head, I can film the thing again on my photo camera and the depression went away… it wasn’t depression … it was hidden anxiety … the fact that i had an idea and couldn’t submit it because of my lazyness.. with this new found idea i am back to normal.. it wasn’t the boy!! I have gotten to a point in my life where I don’t have to be with someone… sorry i have to recite Natasha Bedingfields’ song ‘Single’ (i really need to stop breaking into song)

Ah yeah that’s right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I’m not waitin’ around for a man to save me
(Cos I’m happy where I am)
Don’t depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don’t need to be anyone’s baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don’t need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn’t mean I will or won’t
I’m free to make my mind up you either got it or you don’t

[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There’s no way I’m tradin’ places
Right now a star’s in the ascendant

I’m single
(Right now)
That’s how I wanna be
I’m single
(Right now)
That’s how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that’s right

Don’t need to be on somebody’s arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I’m not saying I don’t wanna fall in love ‘cos I would
I’m not gonna get hooked up just ‘cos you say I should
(Can’t romance on demand)
I’m gonna wait so I’m sorry if you misunderstood

[Chorus]

Everything in it’s right time everything in it’s right place
I know I’ll settle down one day
But ’til then I like it this way it’s my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn’t mean I will or won’t
I’m free to make my mind up you either got it or you don’t
‘Til then I’m single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There’s no way I’m tradin’ places
Right now a star’s in the ascendan

So there… but yea this whole situation taught me so much about where i am at right now! It is awesome!

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